The cultural group that I looked
at for my project is a very large, and very broad group: Fathers. I am a new
Mother and up until the birth of my daughter I never realized how many
differences there were. The differences do vary based upon different
circumstances. For example, an unwed teenage Father would have different views,
experiences, and opinions than a middle-aged, stable, married Father. These
differences don’t change the fact that both of them share one culture and at
least one similarity, they are both Fathers. I accessed this group through
friends, I know of many Fathers, most young. I choose 2 different Fathers. One
is currently engaged, living with his fiance’ and preparing to graduate in
December with a business Degree, he became a Father after a 4 year relationship
at the age of 21. The other Father that I chose to interview was 20, had a GED,
worked in construction and had part time custody of his daughter. He had his daughter
at the age of 15.
In my application blog I spoke
about how Integration was a key of this culture. This is not a role that
necessarily replaces other roles, although at most time it should replace, or
at least alter other roles. The role of becoming a Father is simply added to
the list of roles already played. I used the example of the behavior of your
typical teenage male. A majority of males in the college age group like to
party, go to bars and engage in use of drugs and/or alcohol. This is not
something that all people in that age group like to do, just some of them. If
they fit into that group prior to becoming a Father it is likely that, that
particular activity and culture will be less important and in some cases that
behavior will stop near completely. Integration is all about taking a role and adding
it the list of cultures and roles that are already present. Integration does
not take away other roles, that happens naturally after new priorities are
established and the new role is embraced.
I interviewed the 2 participants from the previous paragraph about how
this role has affected them. I also observed one of the Fathers interact with
his daughter. `
The first theme that I found was
change. Change is defined by the Meriam Webster dictionary as “ to become
different”. Both of the Fathers that I spoke with emphasized that they both
expected at least a little bit of change in their lifestyle, but were still surprised
at how much things really changed. When asked “What were your expectations for
becoming a father?” They both had somewhat similar responses. Terence R., to a
newborn daughter replied “I expected to be really busy. Lots of dirty diapers,
not having much time between work school and taking care of a baby.”(Terence
R., Personal Communication, April 04, 2014) Alex P. had a bit of different
response, he stated “I didn’t think it would change very much. I thought it would
be a little different, I mean there will be whole new person here. I knew
things would be more expensive, and I’d get less sleep but I didn’t expect to
change as much as it did. I guess I really just thought it would just be my
same old life just with another person in it.” (Alex P., Personal
Communication, April 04, 2014) I followed up that question by asking “ Were
your expectations correct? How were things really like compared to your
expectations?” Terence R. replied “So far it’s exactly what I thought it would
be.” (Terence R., Personal Communication, April 04, 2014) Alex P. replied “Uhm,
yes and no. I mean my life is the same in some ways, but in other ways it has
changed completely. My priorities have changed and now my son is my life. The
biggest change for me would be my social life, I went from going out and
partying or going to the bar to wanting to sit at home with my son. I stopped
talking to a lot of people after he was born because they just didn’t
understand that I had better, more important things to do than just get drunk.”
(Alex P. Personal Communication, April 04, 2014) These responses show that a
lot of change occurred when this new role was gained and they became integrated
into this new culture. In Terence’s case, the change was expected and not too surprising. While in Alex’s case it
was surprising. In both cases, change was a very big aspect in becoming a
Father.
The second theme that I found was
protector/provider. Both Fathers found that they became that they now worried
about their child. They both wanted to protect and provide everything for their
child’s wellbeing. Terence R. stated
that “I have to take care of someone. I have to put my wants and needs behinds
her needs, and sometimes wants even though she doesn’t have any of those yet. I
am supposed to take care of her to the best of my abilities, at times that
means I need to buy her things, at other times it means keeping her from
getting hurt.” (Terence R., Personal Communication, April 04, 2014). During
an observation of Terence’s interaction
with his daughter (3 weeks old) was not very active, but very intimate. Terence
took care of his daughter when she cried, fed her a bottle, then burped her.
This reinforces the role of protector/provider because he gave her what she
needed(food), and made sure she wouldn’t be in pain by burping her.
The final theme that I found was
fun. Both of the Fathers that I interviewed had come focus placed on being fun
and active with their children. Terence, whose child is only 3 weeks old goes
about this a lot differently than Alex, whose child is 5 years old. When being
observed Terence tried to have fun with his daughter after she had been fed and
burped. He brought out a colorful mat
and with a mirror. He sat with her while she looked at herself and the bright
colors. During this time he talked to her and was smiling and playing with her.
Although her interaction with him was very limited (she stared at things and
smiled a few times) he was still trying to encourage her to have fun. This was
reinforced by the toys that were in her bedroom and the living room. Alex said
during the interview “I have limited time with her since she lives with her
Mom, but when she is with me I try to do things she likes. I don’t want her to
just sit in front of the tv, I want to be doing things with her and making the
most out of the time we have together.” He stated that he likes to take her for
ice cream or play soccer in the yard. Both Fathers like to try and engage in
fun activities with their child, regardless
of age or time spent together.
Communication competence is all
about being an effective communicator. Being able to communicate effectively
with people you share a culture with is, is just as important as communicating
with someone whom you do not share a culture with. I learned that each culture that you are a
part of impacts the other groups in different ways. Depending on the different
cultures, and different roles that are present, they can and will affect the
other roles and cultures in at least a small way. Everything is connected in
some way or another. Different cultures and roles have different priorities.
This inform culture communication moving forward because it gives you an
understanding of how everything links together and how everything is affected. By
understanding the differences that occur,
and knowing what to expect makes it so that when interaction occurs it
will be easier, and more effective to communicate with that other group
regardless of the roles and cultures that are played by that person.
Terence R., Personal Communication,
April 04, 2014
Alex P., Personal Communication,
April 04, 2014
Martin, J.N., & Nakayama, T.K.
(2013). Intercultural communication in contexts (6th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw
Hill.
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