Hannah Kelley CAPS #6

Intercultural relationships feature differences in age, gender/sex, social class, religion, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, nationality, region, and physical ability.  In order to maintain these relationships it is important to balance the similarities and differences that may occur within the relationship.  According to Martin & Nakayama in 2013, “the benefits of such relationships include acquiring knowledge about the world, breaking stereotypes, and acquiring new skills” (p. 391).  These relationships require the use of relational learning, learning that comes from particular relationships and generalizes to other contexts.  Although challenges may occur in intercultural relationships, it is important to build on the positives of the relationship, such as interests and goals. 

I am involved in an intercultural relationship with a friend who is gay.  I have known him for quite a while, and he has opened my eyes to a community other than my own.  There are many benefits and challenges that accompany this relationship, and these are important to balance.  We have similar interests and goals in life, and that encourages us to get along and gain perspectives about each other’s cultures.  This relationship has motivated me to break the stereotypes that have been placed on the gay community that are often enforced through media and the opinion of others.  As our relationship grew bigger, our cultural differences grew smaller.  The challenges of intercultural relationships are to build on similarities, which is something I feel we have overcome.

Baxter’s (1993) dialectical model explains the dynamic of relationships.  The personal-contextual dialectic believes that intercultural relationships are both personal and contextual.  This dialectic operates in my intercultural relationship because my relationship is personal and relies on context to develop.  I feel comfortable in my relationship and I am more likely to meet people from a different context, the gay community, or a varying background from my own.  According to Martin & Nakayama in 2013, “the static-dynamic dialectic suggests that people and relationships are constantly in flux, responding to various personal and contextual dynamics” (p. 400).  It is important to realize that changes happen in every relationship.  My intercultural relationship is different from when we first met as we have both undergone changes that affect our relationship and ourselves overall.  Although changes may not be recognized initially, these changes are completely normal and a part of every relationship.

Examining my intercultural relationship through Baxter’s (1993) dialectical model has helped me understand the dynamic of my relationship.  I value this relationship for many reasons, and often do not notice that cultural differences are present.  I understand that our relationship has undergone many changes, but I believe we have an appropriate balance between our similarities and differences.