Culture is not easy to define, as it
is a complex intangible concept. In
2013, Martin & Nakayama defined culture as “learned patterns of behavior
and attitudes shared by a group of people” (p. 88). This definition applies to the elderly because they have
shared attitudes and behavior that align with their age, just as the definition
proposed by Martin & Nakayama stated.
I chose to study the elderly because I believe they are a fascinating
group of people that have so much to share. I was interested in the perspective taking process and
hearing what they had to say about themselves and their life story. The elderly
tend to utilize traditional story telling and have a strong sense of family
identity. This particular group of
people contrast yet compliments my personal identity as we both have a strong
sense of family identity, yet we are different in age.
I chose to apply two concepts to this
project. I felt it was necessary
to examine intercultural relationships and age identity in order to better
understand the elderly. According
to Martin & Nakayama (2013) age identity is “the identification with the
cultural conventions of how we should act, look, and behave according to our
age” (p. 189). I was interested in
examining the similarities and differences that occur between my age identity
and the age identity of the elderly.
Social identity theory is how people identify themselves through
interactions with others; therefore I was seeking to be able to better define
myself, and my age identity through interactions with the elderly. Finally, intercultural relationships
require the balance of similarities and differences and seek to break enforced
stereotypes. The exploration
between my personal age identity and the age identity of the elderly sought to
highlight the idea of intercultural relationships and provide insight into the
elderly population.
The first theme I will discuss is
family. I define family as a group
of interrelated people that are connected by blood or marriage and bound
together by love. When I asked
Mary Lou, an elderly resident at Tabitha, to tell me about her family she stated,
“well, I’m
from a large family and I have five brothers and four sisters, and I myself
have two daughters, one lives in California, and one lives in Lincoln, Nebraska”
(Mary Lou, personal communication, April 3, 2014). She portrayed a strong sense of family identity throughout
her interview. When asked who has
had the greatest impact on her life and what she is most proud of Mary Lou said
“my parents have had the greatest impact on my life and I am most proud of the
way my daughters turned out because I believe they are great people” (Mary Lou,
personal communication, April 3, 2014).
In response to family heirlooms she stated “I have three pieces of
furniture that had belonged to my parents: a table, a dresser, and a desk”
(Mary Lou, personal communication, April 3, 2014). The interview continued to reveal the theme of family. When asked what some of Mary Lou’s
favorite memories are she replied “oh when we have family reunions, and when we
used to once a year when I was growing up we would go to Kankakee, Illinois and
have picnics with all the aunts and uncles and cousins that lived in the area”
(Mary Lou, personal communication, April 3, 2014). In the short time I had with Mary Lou, she revealed themes
of family. It was evident in her
responses that she has a strong bond with her family and loves identifying with
them.
The second resident I
interviewed, Doris, also revealed themes of family. When asked about her family Doris replied, “I have uh three
brothers, two older and one younger, and they are all still alive” (Doris,
personal communication, April 3, 2014).
In response to family heirlooms Doris stated, “yes, I just was digging
out the other day, I have a one hundred year old quilt that my grandparents
made when my mother was just a child” (Doris, personal communication, April 3,
2014). When asked who has had the
greatest impact on Doris’s life and what she is most proud of she revealed “I
suppose I’d have to say my mother and I am most proud of the children I raised,
I have two girls and a boy” (Doris, personal communication, April 3,
2014). Doris revealed that her
favorite memories consist of:
“Family gatherings, my side
of the family, my husbands side of the family didn’t do that very often and
they thought we were a little weird because my mother in law said one time if
you don’t have an occasion you invent one, but our side of the family always
had large family gatherings and just you know picnics” (Doris, personal
communication, April 3, 2014).
The
second and final theme I will discuss is friendship. Both Mary Lou and Doris revealed themes of friendship
throughout their personal interviews.
I define friendship as the act of caring for another person. When I asked if Mary Lou gets to see
her family often she stated “of course, I see my daughter that lives here and
her family maybe once a week and my California daughter I see maybe two or
three times a year” (Mary Lou, personal communication, April 3, 2014). During the activity, Mary Lou later
revealed that she has a strong friendship with her daughter that visits weekly
and that she enjoys golfing and volunteering with friends for fun (Mary Lou,
personal communication, April 3, 2014).
Doris expressed the theme of friendship as well. She explained, “I still have two
elderly friends that are the dearest friends I ever had, I will be 84 years old
tomorrow and my friend in California will be 94 years old tomorrow” (Doris,
personal communication, April 3, 2014).
Doris enjoys putting puzzles together for fun and she told me:
“I sit at the puzzle table a
lot, but there at the centrally located areas you know on the floors, and I
love just sitting there working on a puzzle and having all the people come by
and stop and visit and put in a piece, you learn a lot of history and a lot of
hear a lot about lives when you’re in a place like this” (Doris, personal
communication, April 3, 2014).
When I asked Doris what some of the most important lessons she
feels she has learned over the course of her life she replied, “I guess it
would have to be the golden rule.
Do unto others, as you want them to do to you. As long as you’re friendly, you have a friend and that’s all
I can say, I guess it’s just live the best you can and help the other guy get
there too” (Doris, personal communication, April 3, 2014). Doris portrayed a strong sense of the
theme of friendship, especially with this final quotation.
Communication
competency seeks to explore what it means to be a good communicator. Future positive interactions with the
elderly require a lot of patience.
They have lived through varying generations from our own, and do not
always understand the language that our generation utilizes. I have learned a lot in terms of
effective and appropriate communication with people of different cultures. It is important to understand that a
balance of similarities and differences makes intercultural relationships work. I was able to adapt well to the
elderly, because they are very different from me. If groups of people are too similar, a clash in ideas and
communication styles can occur, conflicting the relationship. In order to facilitate better
intercultural communication it is important to build on the positives of the
relationships, such as similar interests and goals. This positive relational building will prevent stereotypes
from occurring.
Doris. (2014, April 3). Personal interview by H. Kelley.
Intercultural communication: Doris.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv3Gm0PFkDo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv3Gm0PFkDo
Mary Lou. (2014, April 3). Personal
interview by H. Kelley. Intercultural communication: Mary Lou.
Martin, J.N., & Nakayama, T.K. (2013). Intercultural communication in
contexts (6th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw Hill.
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