CAPS #6- Carly Ficke

An international relationship that I am involved in is with my Polish friend Maciek (pronounced Ma-check). I met Maciek at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico where we both worked last summer. He was able to come to the States through the International BoyScouts Association, and when the summer ended, he came to stay with my family for a week. While there are many differences between us, our relationship solidified to me that people of different cultures really do have more in common than they think and the human experience is a universal thing. One of the hardest differences initially was his general views of Americans. Whether fair or not, much of Europe sees American's as young, greedy, and overweight. Maciek would often remind us of how young/inexperienced our country is and make occasional jokes when driving by McDonald's for example. While I know he always meant well, it was impossible to ignore some of these stereotypes the world has about Americans. Another difference was religion. Although Poland is a strongly Catholic country, Maciek was atheist and did not like the church in his country. As I am a practicing Catholic, this led to (always friendly) conversation and deep discussions. Although we disagreed about things, these conversations brought us closer. We really connected over the outdoors, music, and our love of traveling (my next travel destination is Poland!)

There are two of Baxter's relational dialectics that I think are very applicable to my relationship with Maciek. Firstly, the Static-Dynamic dialectic applies to us in that we met at a time and place that was very defined. We only had the 3 months of summer and a few weeks after, so our friendship requires that we accommodate to each others' personalities through the changing times of our lives. Although we still keep in contact through email and FaceTime, the physical distance is still an element and so when we physically meet up again, there will be a rediscovery of personality and friendship. In this way, the Static-Dynamic relational dialectic applies greatly to our friendship (Martin, Nakayama 2013).

Secondly, the History/Past-Present/Future relational dialectic also applies to Maciek and my intercultural relationship. Historical influences have greatly shaped Maciek and many of his perceptions and beliefs. Maciek comes from an older, more traditional society, with a long line of history and cultural expectations. I, on the other hand come from "young" and liberal America, which shapes a lot my goals and perceptions. Maciek says he would like to eventually live in a different culture, as he feels his is negative and still greatly affected by war, the holocaust, and religious oppression. He often states that we are much more happy here in the states. I think this historical significance plays a factor in our friendship, as our friendship is a representation of the future and of change (Martin, Nakayama 2013).

I have been greatly influenced and my horizons have grown from this intercultural and international friendship of mine. I am truly fascinated by the customs and views of the world that other people have, and with Maciek as a friend, I am able to get a glimpse into a completely different way of life. On the other hand, being friends with Maciek has shown be the similarities between all people and how mutual experiences  can really bring people close together.

Martin, J.N. & Nakayama, T.K. (2013). Intercultural communications in contexts (6^th ed.) New York, NY: McGraw Hill.